Easy Shabbos, Noisy Bird

Ever have a bird that doesn't shut up? Nonstop, does not shut up. Every morning, half of the night, on and on it sings. It's not just a Spring thing. It sang through half of the winter easily. It's been a while. Maybe it moved here after the Hurricane.. maybe it's Pine Tree perch was smashed to smithereens and it flew to my block.

I hate it.

I'm not ready to wake up and this is not a friggin bird sanctuary.

This is not a parrot or a seagull. It's a Bird. Incessantly singing.

Not a baby in a nest. Just a big black bird, ordinary, sort of bird.

Anyway... I am going to take a shower, get dressed, daven, run to Walmart, then to work at the library away from the incessant noise of that bird singing its squawking song.

I'm making what we refer to as an "easy shabbos" and having something fast, simple and much loved round here "sweet and sour meatballs and yellow rice" Jar fish, Israeli Salads. Whatever I think of between here and Walmart and maybe later stop in at the Kosher Market. If I get some inspiration flowing I'll make something else but after Passover, a week of big meals... my kids want easy and simple. Traditional, regular, old fashioned easy Shabbos.

And, I have a ton of things to read that have piled up over the holiday and with the guests and all the things my mind has had to deal with of late.

so.. that's it.

My Good Shabbos post and kvetch on the noisy bird.

Taking a tagamet, my tummy is funny.
Making coffee, after the tagamet, going out into the harsh bright light of the day.

Luckily a cold front went by and lowered our temperatures down above five degrees.. maybe six or seven. Makes it much more bearable.

Sat outside last night after some neighborhood commotion and talked with the kids, stared up at the stars and felt the breeze. It was nice. A nice respite or maybe a gift before the onslaught of the umbearable summer heat.

I may fly north for the summer.. winter and fall.

The bird stopped singing. Oh my goodness. Quiet descends upon 11th court.

Wow, that's awesome.

See how things can change in an instant.
Leaving fast and enjoying my shower before it comes back... maybe a truck from the horrible house under construction across the street scared it away, at least temporarily.

Good Morning Tuesday... Walking on Sunshine

This post is for me... and maybe one or two people but really just for me.. so indulge or go away... leave me alone and let me play...

Sitting here today in my navy blue tank top and my new, blue five tierd jean skirt with the fan blowing on me and listening to Alanis Morissette sing about lost love and womanhood and after that.. when I am done being soothed by the repetitiveness of the song on ITunes I will listen to Counting Crows.


I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away. It's not fair ... Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity or your son Mr. Duplicity Jr? Or all of your crazy friends who didn't leave when you did who kept following me and not you. Are they harrassing you too? I wonder, sometimes and other times.. I just want to be left alone with the fan on my face and daydreams of other places and listening to music while the AOL clock counts away, ticking slowly so it can remind me when I sign off to tell me "Ha, Ha, you wasted 88 minutes of your life today."

And, I don't care.. because I want to sit there listening to that voice that tells me that I deserve to sit a while today, on the anniversary of my father's death and the first good day that everyone is gone... away and I have the house alone to blast ITunes like I am one of your lost, wayward teenage boys..

Don't start with me today. Don't throw me off the computer or play your little games. Not today. I'm not in the mood for it. I would rather be anywhere but here today... and don't send people into the library to bother me or ask me for maps of Miami while they here and visiting from Cleveland. They said Cleveland at least five dollars. Give them the money or whatever you give them and leave me alone..

I'm not in the mood.

Everytime you speak her name does she know you how you told me you would hold me until you died, but I'm still here and I'm
I'd like to be on the pier with Jim watching the waves and talking hurricanes. But, its the time yet to talk of hurricanes and there is no strong breeze from the east-south-east and I've never been to the pier with Jim and it's way too hot to be outside today but for some reason I can see it in my mind.

Or, I'd rather me out with Mel driving cross country in his Winnebago or wannabe winnegbago going slowly north through the tropical south and maybe veer over oddly to the Great Lakes and check out the real Winnebago people and see if they are nice or special as our friend from the Great Objiwe Nation. Can't imagine anyone being as special but.. then again I am often wrong so... shrugging shoulders... sounds like a good plan. Maybe go to Lake Michigan and see it with my own eyes not Linda's eyes as she described it to me so often in letters from Northwestern, weekly letters, sometimes every few days... in her handwriting that looked like my handwriting and odd funky purplicous colors from that place and time so long ago.

I need to go away. I need a long vacation. I need even a short vacation.

Best case scenario.. a long trip where I can write and watch the world pass by and decide where I want to live and be inspired by my own muse or a muse I need to find. Lose the muse shell game, use the muse shell game.

What better way to hide out from the world and all it's company than on a westbound winnebago?

I could use to hide from the world today and from myself.

You're my best listener, my best friend .. what took me so long I've never felt this healthy before.. I've never wanted something rational, I'm aware now...

I need a vacation.
I need money for a vacation.

You hear that crazy person who is supposedly in Africa but sending presents to me from Longview Texas?

I need a vacation.
I need money for a vacation.

Send me money and send me a bus ticket on Greyhound to see America.
Put that in your UPS and FEDEX and leave me alone.

This blog is mine. My harbor. My particular harbor and not yours.

Let strangers read but not you.
Don't read me, read you.
Write... write... write... write.. you write so well.

I just ramble and play and dance and go to work and take care of the priorities of life.

But not today... smiling... nope.. not today...

... a smile comes washes over her face as she contemplates not going in to work today..........

Got a new name for this summer?
Not interested...

I want REAL this summer.

Oh yeah and summer's coming and I can feel it and you can feel it and all of the United States of America can feel it...

Coming right around the corner while Uranus tugs at your heart and Pluto blows apart someone else's life and we wonder on what sort of storms Jupiter in Scorpio will bring while the nodes go into Pisces.

Oh my .. lions and tigers and bears..

So here I am today.
Enjoying the moment but wishing I wasn't here.. and probably will go to the library today because... I like it. I have fun there. It's full of funny people.. some actually real, normal people with lives and stories that need to be told that I should be telling except I am playing with you like a good muse.

And, you know what? I love it. That's the sick part.. it's funny, it's funny, it's vital and real but I NEED TIME FOR MYSELF.

TO WRITE, TO MUSE, TO WRITE, TO LOVE.. TO LAUGH..

And, as you once said to me long ago, one lost, long morning on IM in deep discussion where you whimsically talked in riddles Mr. Comedy Writer ... comedy comes from tragedy, this little voice screaming out from the troubles and trials and tribulations of life, this sick little voice that screams out from the guts and makes you giggle sickly with your last breath.. one last joke, one last chuckle, one last line to type, one last line to commemorate the moment one last stupid line to get it out of your system, out of your mind, typing away words that may or may not ever be published.. a cartharitic sacrifice to your sick, silly, funny, lovable mind.

Sad song "A Long December".. don't use it in a happy movie and don't listen to it.. "one more night in hollywood, do you think you might come to california, think you should, nah nah nah nah uh... sad..

Looking for another.. this reads like my highschool year book with someone changing records over and over except now all he has to do is switch back and forth in ITune heaven..

Paved Paradise and Put up a parking lot is better... was probably the most often song sung this Passover by Shayna.. when they weren't singing "you had a bad day" from American Idiot lol laughing giggling, shaking my head..

You dont know what you got until its gone .. they paved paradise and put up a parking lot...

Favorite line in a movie in recent years, "I am calling you from what used to be my bedrom, it's the potato chip aisle" and "if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you.. it's broken"

tip.. one last tip before the muse puts on her clothes, gets dressed with one of her two favorite shirts that just finished tumbling in the dryer..

"Walking on Sunshine" good, good stupid song... probably the wicked brother likes it..............

That's it... Sunshine's leaving..

Bye...

Tootalooo...

How does it feel to know what I would really like to do today???

chow for now.. Bobbi boo
boop boop be doo

Don't want to spend all my whole life just waiting for you. Just waiting for you. I don't want you back for the weekend or back for a day. No, no no... see Baby I just want you back and I want you to stay...

good song, did you use this one yet??? you should.. if not you..

someone should :P

should lol giggling

Im walking on sunshine.. and don't it feel good, allright now...
Better than the buttercup song lol... better than Overjoyed or Aint No Sunshine when she's gone cause I ain't gone.. I'm alive.. I'm walking on sunshine, oh yeah..

and don't it feel good :)


PS.. busted

Oh my God.. I've been busted. Miriam just came out..(thought she was in college taking a final) looked at me and said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" .. half asleep, she thought I was Rivky skipping school blasting the computer... tears in my eyes, I have been caught. She said, "is THIS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU AREN'T AT WORK?"

oops my bad, giggling, cant see from laughing so hard..

Addicted to an Artist - Or the Monday Morning Blues

Addicted to an artist and I'm not talking Matisyahu as much as an artist of another kind and I have the Monday Morning Blues.. which means that I suddenly want to stay home or go somewhere that I can write, write, write... read, surf and then write again.

It's a horrible thing to behold when a muse becomes addicted to her artist. Sort of like a Jeannie in a Bottle who can't say F U and go into her bottle and ignore her Master... a symbiotic relationship where Jeannie wants to do anything for Tony when she is not royally pissed off at him. And, then when pissed off..she wants to do more to him. Maybe because only way she won't hear him calling is if he is shivering his butt off in Greenland, Iceland or Mt. Washington.

"Haha, I can't hear you.. your cellphone seems to finally have lost it's signal or does someone else have your cellphone." giggling.

Okay, so a bit addicted this morning and there are a million things I want to check out, look into and I want to tap my fingers on this keyboard faster than Matisyahu is beat boxing on the ITunes... gosh I could scare the hell out of some people at an Apple Store right now.. might empty the place. All those people running out to Starbucks afraid the mad typer is going to lose it any minute and go postal. I don't go postal.. I'm a writer .. I write.. I post.

Got a great lesson in history and finances yesterday.

After a long ride and a brunch with Sharon (everyone knows her name is Sharon so let's get over it here .. ).. tried to explain to Sharon that its all about the bottom line. Money. I need money. She needs money. If we had money we would take off time from work and do our thing. Okay..she does take time off from work but she has all those Aquarius planets and I am spelling things badly and digressing..

Bottom line: Money or lack of it is stopping me from doing what I want to do at the moment. Lack of money is stopping her from doing what she needs to do and wants to do... pay her mortgage, stay in Maine and go shopping and spend more money in Maine. She should go to New Hampshire.. isn't it tax free there? If I ever move to Maine to be closer to her and haha closer to Mt. Washington I will bring this up with her..

Elections... bottom line. It's always about money.

Bitch about money. Point out where the money trail wanders. Find the money. Spend the money. Scare the money out of people.

Money and Fear is what drives politics.

A great man once said "we have only to fear but fear itself" Okay, I paraphased that badly probably but I can remember my uncle telling me that over and over at Hojo late at night while he was in some back room, boiler meeting over local politics with the mayor or a half a dozen commissioners and I was busy sipping my chocolate chip ice cream soda. We have only to fear.. fear itself. Then again sometimes what we fear hits us in the eye like a Keystone Kop surprise.. frozen Keystone Kop Surprise...

People in America live in fear, are bathed in fear and politicians prey off of that fear. The world loves America only because we own the military hardware and they fear they will get on the list of have-nots so they like us, they really, really like us to quote Sally.... or more so...they pretend to like us in the way that Lucy tries to explain to Charlie Brown or Charlamaigne Brown that Snoopy only likes him because he feeds him. Snoopy loves Charlie Brown because......as the song goes... he feeds Snoopy. Duh..

Clinton remembered the bottom line when he reminded himself over and over it was the economy dummy... the economy. Keep your eye on the bottom line...

Fear and Dollar Signs = How Politics Work

While reading a local paper out of California I thought on this the other day.

I remember.. once upon the time, long ago in a land called yesterday there was talk that Rob Reiner would run for Governor of the great Bear State of California and maybe that was just talk but while the talk was out there... the possibility of it even happening the made the Great Arnold nervous.. he was scared of him. Arnold had something to fear.

Like some old fashioned check and balance system... Arnold worried a bit that someone could out talk him, out act him and out brain him. Maybe mind you if that happened some small minded little politician that no one knew but with a good plan might have slipped in hidden between the two personalities but we will never know.
Because the moment that Mr. Reiner made it clear he would not run he became suddenly fair game.. a clear duck to shoot at in the verbal mind game that is going on out there where they are trying to convince people that free pre-school for children would be a BAD bad idea... or at least a bad idea for the people with the money who don't want to see any of it go to helping those without enough funds to send their children to the nice, posh, playschools of Beverly Hills and Beverly Glen and Bel Aire. All the children in plush, posh playschools in the heights of Beverly Hills.. the politically correct part not the part down by Pico Robertson but the really political correct zipcodes don't need to worry about as they have pre-school, they have nannys and they don't need free pre-school.

They don't need... they don't want to part with their dough and they are trying to convince the rest of the populace that breathing clean air is a bad idea and that fish don't need water to swim ... they need fins silly, the water isn't really the issue.

Duh... the great blonding down of Los Angeles... too much bleach to try and cover up dirt..

Sling the dirt, point fingers, complain about money that is supposed to be used for children that was used for children... lunacy that only makes sense in California in the Fear State but whether Arnold is in Germany or in California he is using the oldest tactics in the book...

Fear and making people with money worry on the bottom line and he is trying to convince all the single mothers and struggling two parent families who try desperately to figure out what to do with their children until they are old enough that they HAVE to go to school and they are forever out of the loop kept down but the basic economic bottom line of the have nots vs the haves... those with money holding onto their money not wanting Rob to rob their money and give it to the poor little kids who need and trying to explain how all the kids who really NEED are already in Head Start...

Fear... Arnold is spreading fear and this isn't Nazi Germany but he is spinning a good yarn and I can promise you that any children Arnold has are well placed in all the proper, politically correct, plush, poshest, pre-schools...

And... he didn't put his boxing gloves on until Mr. Reiner decided not to run and took off the boxing gloves and said all he wanted to do was ... do his thing and try to make a difference and not really run for Governor.

Arnold doesn't want to make a difference... he wants to run for President one day..and after he gets down with California he will try and convince the American public that the idea of a foreign born person running is STUPID and you know what?

If he can convince the dumb but beautiful people of California that free pre-school for all children to really give them a 'head start' is a BAD idea.. he can convince this crazy, fear driven nation of people in the post 911 world that we should change this law too...

Foreign owned ports is bad.... foreign born presidents is good... no problem... not a problem...

Come on Arnold.. you can do it...

Take off your boxing gloves..stop worrying on the environment (trees are okay to worry on but not pre-schoolers?? and show your real colors... you want to run for the greatest office in the land...the red, white and blue office of President of the United States of America.

Maybe if that happens I will leave... I'll make Aliyah... or... move to Canada. Cheaper to make films and some really cute Native Americans up there.. really trust me I know.

Good song.. what I'm fighting for is better than silver or gold...
Matisyahu... sing the song.. United we thrive.. divided we are drivin by fear... fear of the bottom line.

Arnold Alchemy of some kind..

Just an example...
He had everything to fear and then he had nothing to fear..and then he spread fear..

Y'all better hope that Hilary and Condi do a good job because if they don't... Arnold is waiting in the wings..

Bobbi... thinking on history, artistry and
Erase the demons from our memory.. why is everyone always chasing me
Jerusalem.. if I forget you..
forgive me ... I just had to
Bobbi :)

Wow.. I'm awake .. haha ;)

Going to jump in the shower, go daven fast... and get on da bus...

not okay... aint no one gonna break my stride, aint no one gonna pull me down


ps... I screwed up royally on the music message board and the song I like is WP and ... the RedSox won... another reason to move to Toronto.. can watch the Redsox when they come to town.. shoot, darn.. shaking my head and laughing. Gonna be that kind of day huh?

Russian Meatballs

Got the idea from a music message board.

Good Yom Tov.. happy passover... take care of yourselves and..

Miriam's cat is missing :(
We can't find it. I think she ran away .. too many out of town guests...

Jahfilte Fish? Is that a noun or a verb? Going to be a long, long Yom Tov..

Hope the Red Sox win..

Nuts & Bolts & Estimated Bill of the Passover Seder at UF Chabad

One wonders how Chabad Houses on campus do what they do?

Sometimes I know it seems like they just throw pot luck together with no planning or clue what they are doing relying on some "blessing from the Rebbe" in a wing and a prayer manner.

No, it takes a lot of planning and a few prayers answered. Blessings always help as do dollars. Thoughts are wonderful but actions speak louder and go further when paying the bill for Passover.

This is a breakdown of what it cost to put on Passover at the University of Florida's Chabad House. AKA www.jewishgator.com

Passover Seders & Activity Budget
2006-5766

Matzah Shmurah 150 pounds $1,650
Wine 35 cases $2,100
Grape Juice 30 cases $1,440
Maror, Karpas & Ka-arah $475
Haggadahs 300 booklets $450
Tableware $1,200
Serving Bowls, trays, utensils $800
Shulchan Oruch (main meal) $9,500 (all the fixins and dessert)
Drinks $500
Trucking/shipping to UF $1,600 (refrigerated and dry)
Waiters, setup & cleanup $600
Passover "how to guide" $1,300
Matzah gift packs $3,200

Total $24,815
Maos Chitim
special passover grants for
needy students $4000

Grand Total: $28,815

Don't ever think Chabad does a pot luck, wing and a prayer program.
We are more organized than we look. Though sometimes opening up the pantry and using everything in site for an unplanned event works wonders..that's how my son Moishe's bris was at Chabad Russian Center in LA.. and he wasn't even directly from Russia, generations removed. There is always an exception to the rule but in general.. pulling off a Passover Seder whether at home or running a Chabad House takes a lot of planning.

I know.. I ran a Chabad House years ago.. though I have to tell you we did more winging it back then and it wasn't as organized but there were lists, there were a lot of guests and it was a real success... based on prayers, blessings and down the road donations.

No Chabad House turns students away or charges or forces kids to make reservations... though it is nice to have a clue who is coming..there are always surprises and at the end... a sense of satisfaction for a job well done and the happy faces on people and the connection and bond you have established. A real sense of Ahavas Yisroel and a job well done.

So... please help if you can and if you haven't given to the needy this holiday of Passover. It may change forever the life of one student, far from home and far from their parents and grandparent's Passover Seder. A link in the chain.. keeping history and tradition alive.
Whether you are a Gator or a Panther .. donate. I'm a Panther personally but I donated to UF in the honor of a much loved and remembered Gator.

https://www.mychabad.org/templates/articlecco.html?print=true&print=true&AID=300536&site=www.lubavitchuf.com

https://www.mychabad.org/templates/articlecco.html?AID=328471&site=chabadfiu.com

check out the great pic of Rabbi Levi and Sashie Friedman bringing a unique warmth and enthusiasm to FIU-Chabad at Purim... hint..they are Queen Esther and you know who :)

http://www.chabadfiu.com/templates/photogallery/slideshow.asp?AID=370036&iid=715065

A Big Mitzvah on Pesach to Give Charity... Gator or FIU Chabad Needs U

I received a really good letter explaining the breakdown in expenses that the University of Florida-Chabad has in making community sedorim for the kids there.

It's awesome. Mind boggling.

Unlike our days traveling through the desert Wine, Matzah and various things that are used for the Sedor Plate don't just fall out of the sky onto the front lawns of Chabad Houses. And, yet never are kids turned away from joining in a Seder.

Often, on a faith based system called "emunah" everyone is fed and there is emunah that somehow the money will come..

Either way the returns are not in monetary denomination but in the future of young Jewish kids on campus who are away from home and trying to find themselves. Hopefully, while trying to find themselves, their majors, their mates and their new lives they will not lose sight of who they are.. Jews.

Believe it or not... that simple fact is hard to lose track of on most college campuses and remembered too late when it is hard to untie the bonds of lives built over time to find your way home to that child who stood to be Bar Mitzvahed long ago before beer bashes and fraternity parties and a million and one religous groups try to convert jewish kids. Happens. Especially on campus.

I know here my kids, my kids raised in Chabad have kept connected locally at FIU
Chabad, a young, growing program. They do a beautiful job.

But.. the program at UF is massive and serves close to 300 students on a regular shabbos.. the number served over the holidays like Passover is mind boggling.

I only wish it was there when I had my own friends there at UF and well.. it might have changed many a world if it had been there.

They still drink beer mind you but now they do it fahrbregen style and stay connected in ways that previously were impossible.

Takes thousands of dollars just to pay for the grape juice bill. Wine. Matzah. Haggadahs. Eggs and Potatoes. Chicken and Fish... Drinks...

I wish I could find the breakdown but trust me... it was awesome.

So...if you haven't given to a charity for Passover.. to help others have and make Passover.. please do so now by donating to Chabad of UF.. or even FIU Chabad.

It's important to me in more ways than I can say that this message gets across..

From my heart, Bobbi
http://www.lubavitchuf.com/
donate page:
https://www.mychabad.org/templates/articlecco.html?AID=300536&site=lubavitchuf.com

http://www.chabadfiu.com/templates/articlecco.html?AID=238808
click on donate in upper left corner...
those girls are my daughter and her best friends... don't they look happy?

I know a few kids who went this year and enjoyed the program at "The Rabbi's House." Rabbi Friedman and his beautiful wife who cooks incredible put on a wondeful program for the kids, a warm place to hang.. which is indeed what most kids that age need. A place where they can feel comfortable, feel at home and loved. Don't we all need that?

look.. my daughter is somewhere on this page, making a mask for Purim
http://www.chabadfiu.com/templates/photogallery/photogallery.asp?AID=357304
:)

We all need love so badly. I know I do. I'm sure you do too...

Thanks for listening to this unpaid but political announcement..

I will try and find that breakdown of what it took to make the Passover Seders at UF.. think something like $28,000.. a whole lot of grape juice going round...

Kitchen Finally Cleaned Up...

Passover in the Meyer house was ... noisy... loud.. rambunctious... high energy.

Seems always someone coming .. going.. or debating where to go next or what to do next..

Truth is I am not used to everything being topsy turvy in the house and still not used to doing Passover alone with the kids even though I have been alone for a while.

Reminds me of things I'd rather not remember. Other Passovers.. oh.. a long time ago.
People here who are not here anymore.. and never will be here again.
35 years ago or more

Even last year which was sort of a hard to take year in that on one hand I had all my kids with me which was nice... okay specifically my grandchild.. and yet someone had died ..sort of which was in its way very disturbing and then on another level I broke up with my boyfriend. Okay.. well the breakup wasn't for a few more months and came in bits and pieces but it came because of events that evolved over Pesach.. decisions he made mostly but which I didn't make clear. However you cut it.. it reminds me of it again.

Passover and other holidays are just not that easy to get into when you are single.

That's the dirty truth of it all.

Unless, you like being single.. like space, go off on your own and commune with nature, howl at the moon or stare up at the sky and go off into fantasy land. They suck. Bluntly so. No other way to put it that I can put it in finer form.

There were highlights. The Sedorim were okay... not bad but made better by Rashi Light Wine. Nice to watch my brother lead the seder even if the kids made fun of most of what he did and my mother complained what her father did (which she does ever year) but we did what our father did and that's nice. Okay, I had a piece of Uri's onion along with the potato. Uri, my son-in-law who holds from Lubavitch customs that my brother doesn't do much of anymore ..though he still does in bits and pieces. Just not the onion piece.

Shul was nice though most the women weren't there.. cooking, cleaning, peeling, sleeping..

Yesterday Sharon walked over with her girls and a grandbaby in from Canada that I didn't get to see before and...that was so beautiful. So, so beautiful.

Shul today was nice.. the shiur by the women in the afternoon was very nice. Some lady in from Israel learned a sicho with the women and afterwards everyone told stories .. mostly of things about the Rebbe and Pesach and we all sang nigunim. It was very nice. We nibbled cut up fruit and had ice water and wine.. Cabernet Savignon if I spelled that right. Very nice.. one of the nicest parts of the Yom Tov/Shabbos. A story on Rabbi Gansburg's memories of the Rebbe's early Sedorim. He passed away recently and the Machon Chana girls had a lot of memories. I went to Bais Rivkah Seminary so I have different memories... mostly good but different.


Stared up at a picture .. no a print that is a copy of a picture that Sholom Nemtzov made for my ex-husband and I when we were first married. A black and white portrait of the previous Rebbe staring down at me larger than life and larger than the one that was made for our wedding. Next to it oddly was a picture of the Rebbe made by a boy who has become a great artist but who was our Shabbos bochur when he was like 13... Ben Tzakane.. however its spelled and I am NOT googling it.

Funny how I have known so many people in my life... people of importance .. people of talent, great talent.

Funny how I brought home a copy of Asher Lev to read this weekend or look through but I didn't get around to it..and yet.. the picture stares back at me... a man in a beret who had just returned from Paris... all his portraits scattered about the lobby of the Saxony and one or two religous ones tucked away at the back of his studio... he went out with a lady, got engaged and married before we did... also got divorced (is everyone divorced?) and had kids.. and painted more pictures and somehow... came back to the world at least for a while and now I go into people's homes and find large poster prints of the picture he painted for my ex-husband and I when we got married. And, yes.. Mrs. Gansburgh told the girl I was by what Mrs. Goldman told us... he looks like he is smiling but he was always in great pain aftr the torture by the Russians... but to us it looks like he is smiling.

Maybe..somewhere he is... either way I wish I could have a talk with him and his son-in-law our Rebbe because ... I could use to have a good long talk with him.

Either way... the dishes are finally washed, the house is quiet as the party kids have gone down to South Beach in search of old friends and things to do and the youngest kids.. Rivky and Zalmy are watching a movie with their sister and brother-in-law.

I'm going off.. going to go read, write... wonder who where people are I have known, met and cared about and maybe even look through Asher Lev.. but at the moment the book about the Writer is sitting on my bed. It made me laugh. It made me smile. Such a sweet soul wrote that book.

Oh..and the cool weather has departed.. warm tonight..warm and humid in Miami

Bobbi

Raising Rivky.. Anne Frank's Cousin.. one or two times removed..

I woke up this morning to the sounds of the delivery truck delivery wood (as it does each day) to the house being built across the street. They were loud today. Some tall blondish guy in a hard hat was talking about his life or bits and pieces of it to the two Haitian truckers. So, realizing I was the ONLY one up in the whole house full of MANY people I did what any normal Mother would do the day before Pesach. I put down the sidekick and ... went online on the real computer. The PC.. not the PC just with music that's old or the laptop that is tempermental or the numberous cell phones people use with web access... the REAL COMPUTER.

Opened up AOL and Anne Frank stared back at me.

Anne Frank at Fourteen..
Something about the eyes that bore through me always...
Anne Frank and Freedom and the freedom she never wore
because she didn't live on... only her words
lived on

Okay, so I read a drop. Something about a declaration of independence in a fight with her father... (fourteen, who knew) and the words "Just leave me alone."

I've had four daughters...only one says that phrase exactly. Usually before stomping out of the room or slamming the door... Rivky. The one who looks so much like Anne or more so Margot her older sister.

Just leave me alone...

Rivky has her father's eyes, they are intense and soulful and rounder than mine. They are Anne Frank eyes... though Rivky wears eye liner and different clothes and the features are mixed around she is as creative and independent and alive as Anne Frank was once upon a time.

My background is American... Southern to be exact on my mother's side which is the side I was raised around. My father from the Bronx added in the Hungarian genes but I was raised near my mother's family of Southern, Old-Time Florida Jews.

How did I end up raising distant cousins or the children of Anne's cousins?

I marry into the family. German Jews originally from Frankfort Au Maim... or however they say it. Opa could never say "Frankfort" without saying on the Maim.. on the River.. I wonder if I should google it but it's too early and I'm on email with the African mining prodigy now so... we won't. You know what I mean if you have anyone in the family from Frankfort on the Maim.

Anyway... Rikvy looks so much like Margot and Anne that a co-worker shoved a book in my hand one day she bought and told me to keep it .. the school pictures of them when they were young, free and happy looked just like Rivky.

Omi was a Frank. I loved Omi. She was great. She had such spirit, told jokes, a bit fragile with fears after all she had gone through and a great smile.

Rivky has Omi's profile. So does Levi but he's a boy.. a man.

So, what does Rivky Meyer, a descendant of the famous Frank family do on Erev Pesach in a house that is more Lubavitch than not and very American?

She goes shopping. Wet Seal.. the only skirt (other than the one I bought) that could pass for Tzenus or wearable to Young Israel or the Passover Seder.

http://www.wetseal.com/productdetail.asp?size=&mi=1220&style=35831273&token=

Nice isn't it? Well the slit is about knee high and is about as tzenus as it gets at Wet Seal.

And, she will straighten her long, brown hair. She will avoid doing much work. She will play, hang, joke, laugh, talk and be silly with her sister Miriam.

When I watch the two of them playing sometimes... I think "is this what Margot and Anne looked like?" They are dedicated to each other in ways my older daughters Shayna and Dina never were..

http://www.annefrank.org/content.asp?pid=192&lid=2 (margot and anne)
http://www.sptimes.com/News/040500/photos/nie-margot.jpg





Miriam and Rivky... of the long dark hair and Anne Frank genes play like two little kittens, teasing, joking, trading clothes, exchanging clothes.. They sit all over each other while watching shows like the Gilmour Girls (which I hate and think is stupid and it annoys me because I think the mother is annoying) but anyway...

Miriam and Rivky are so cute. Miriam is 19, Rivky is 14 and she is very independent, smart, alert, creative, passionate and playful.

And...she is alive.

And, that is the point.

Freedom = being alive..

And... as we go into the Passover holiday which happened way before the trials and tribulations of German and European Jewry...
they were let go...
set free ...
a new destiny...

There are always snakes in the desert and things are never what they seem...

Someone, somewhere in history has always started up with us..
bothered us..
persecuted us..
plotted against us..

But, we persist, we bother back, we stick together and love each other...
help each other..

We survive.. we are survivors.

We keep our Jewish names... we try and keep other things..
Try and find a tzenus skirt at Wet Seal for Passover
http://www.wetseal.com/product.asp?soc=&sos=&page=1&mi=1220&token=
(not easy but there it is)

We clean the house, we burn the chometz, we sit for a seder..

Uri is up (my son-in-law) looking around the kitchen for the coffee.. Starbucks, Kosher for Passover.. French Roast Extra Bold. He's putting on Tefillin and asking what time can we eat chometz til and what time do we burn the chometz. Tells me to go to www.chabad.org and it will be there..

Starbucks and Chabad.. reliable, always there when you need them :)


My world...
Redsox beat the Blue Jays 5 to 3
I'm going to have to count the chairs myself and see how many more we need from Kmart or Walmart or some mart.
3 Logs of Gefilte Fish need to be put up but that can be done later.
I have to daven still... I just said brochos.

I am going to go peek in on Rivky sleeping and smile..

She's free to be Rivky... in ways that Anne never could be.. or Margot.. or any of the ones who lent Rivky her genes to be raised as a young, frum, modern, lubavitcher girl living in Florida.. far, far away from Germany or Holland or Hitler's reach.

She will straighten her hair, put on her eye liner, her black "Hot" skirt, pick out a shirt to wear with it and walk herself over to her friends who hang out at NSCY and Bnai Akiva and litter my sidewalk with their young teen bodies and droppings and sit at the canal and catch the breeze with her friends. She'll make noise at the Pesach seder at her uncle's house and whisper silly things back and forth and as always.. Rivky will spill something on her Aunt's table, say she is sorry, tell someone to "get over it" and be indignant that she WAS being careful and after one of her many syblings annoy her she will roll her eyes, shake her head and say the famous words that Anne wrote long ago "Just Leave Me Alone"

Laughing here.. the rolling the eyes she gets from me :)

Oh.. and she's catcher on her softball team..
And.. Life goes on .. in America...

Happy Pre-Passover Morning.. word has it the time is 11:20.. going to check online and find out for sure.. you can check too depending on where you live, check it out for yourself..

www.chabad.org

Cleaning for Pesach... Cool Front in Miami

Cleaning for Pesach here at the Meyer house... definitely the Meyer house these days as there are so many kids home. And, there are so many friends of the so many kids.

All who helped tremendously. Dina did the frige, Levi did the ovens.. twice.

Exhausted but more mentally than physically. Though I did paint the food pantry some odd shade of green because it was easier than cleaning it and it's tradition.

I had to clean out an old box of things so I could find something for my son. Note.. do not do this near a full moon ever. Just stared, just sighed... boxes of things and heart full of memories of things that never happened.

Fountainbleau on Miami Beach is having a liquidation sale of old objects... redecorating I guess or rebuilding. Saw photos of the ballroom in the newspaper and in the bottom of my closet. No time for sales.

Need a crock pot. A coffee grinder.

Need a new life with new memories to share with someone.

"Beth" is in town. We went for lunch... Wing Won and then walked over to Judaica where I picked up the matzah that Sruly sent me.. real Crown Heights Matzah.. not the bogus Boro Park kind or the bleached white kind from Kfar Chabad or any of the other various ones that will float through the house this Pesach. Albany Avenue... so near my old home. Was good to see "Beth" and other people coming and going.

So.......with a little help from my friends.. I am making Pesach.

Exhausted and tired from thinking, dealing with things, arrangements, notes... and yet I love Pesach.. just wish it would start and get on with it. Have to work part day tomorrow and my daughter and her husband are coming in for Pesach.

A lot of thoughts racing through my mind, here and there but they have nowhere to stop or sit and rest. Had a long talk with "Moishe" last night (a friend) and so many things are bouncing through my head. Visions of the Bronx, NY, the Poconos (I've never even been to the Poconos being a Southern Jew variety... our Poconos were the Smokeys and I've never been there either...though I have been somewhere) and... wondering on if Don Rickles really was that Orthodox though google says he came from an Orthodox family and on people who kept Yiddish alive in America yet who drifted from their Yiddishkeit. Thinking on how a lot of sons are so much like their father and yet...they are different. Oddly, we look at the resemblences between us and our parents and yet they are only in ways superficial.

Let's take "Fred" (please) and well... at least one of his sons I know of is so very much like him you could probably confuse them in the dark in ways. Yet are they really so alike? Or would his son have made different choices? Who knows...

As for "Moishe" well... hard to say they aren't anything alike but I think (not knowing the father personally unless I'm wrong on that one.. am wrong often so nothing surprises me anymore) he is so much deeper than the father. Smart, talented, creative, strong willed but............ I don't think he stands in his father's shadow... as time goes by I think it's reversed. I could be wrong.

I know my kids eclipse me and their father often... they take bits and pieces of our traits and surpass us... go beyond... move forth and forward as children are want to do...

We stand on the shoulders of our parents generation...our kids stand on ours...

You just have to keep marchine.. moving forward, never giving up and never getting negative because the negativity will kill ya everytime.

Moishe's father may have wanted to change his world a bit.. his immediate family.

Moishe would I think if he could try and change the whole world.. or at least America... this part of the hood.

I think.. who knows... somewhere, someone, someday can explain to me Algebra.

Til then I will quote the old Jimmy Buffett song.. Math Sucks!

Bobbi... who caught her third wind when the house finally fell asleep.

It was a nice picture I suppose but I'm not sure it really caught our essence... or maybe it did.. hands clasped so tightly there that you couldn't imagine anything or anyone would tear us apart..

Found During Passover Cleaning...

The Tehillim I wanted to buy for Passover... my son has it and I can use his for now.

An old picture of all the boys at Ohr Menechem one summer years back.. have to make a bunch of color copies and send them out..must give "Beth" cause her kids are in it too.

Pinchas Mousikov I have your siddur..whoever you are and whenever it was left at my house in miami, long beach california, miami beach or north miami beach.. i should google the name.

Amazing picture in black and white of the Frierdicker Rebbe really young.. Wondering if it's a chasena picture or something.. I should google it.
Think it's this picture: http://www.chabad.org/media/images/61358.jpg

Found.. my brother Jay's Chitat.. in his small itsy bitsy hebrew made out the name Yehuda Ari Schwartz..

http://store.kehotonline.com/index.php?stocknumber=HP-CHIT.HD&deptid=&parentid=&page=1&itemsperpage=10

Found Dina's old Mpeg player that goes to her old, old fone.

Found numerous good cook books, a nice short pamphlet put out way back i don't remember seeing on Jewish Name translations and is interesting.

Found my old, old siddur that is slightly warped cause was on a window sill and got soaked by Hurricane Irene.. usable but wobbly pages.

One very, old, dusty hebrew scrabble game.

And..........going to move on to putting away things in the Kitchen.

Kids are waking up... no sight of rain but it's coming, can see on the radar...

You always wonder on those siddurim left behind my bochurim, counselors, people passing through ...

Oh, a gemora that Jackie Candiotti and Sruly Meyer obviously used or at least wrote their name all over the inside cover page...

Lastly...bad news from last night... seems the bench I bought last Pesach for the kids to hang on..sit on outside died... bit the dust, fell in pieces all over the dried parched Miami lawn. Maybe they are trying to replace it.. got an IM and a text message asking me where I got that bench and how much it cost...

Zalmy going swimming with his cousin Chaim..

Oh look...there's the Oster Digital Food Steamer someone sent me.............

To Be Continued

(couldn't find the name online.. I googled it so if you are out there somewhere Pinchas... we have your siddur)

Yud Aleph Nisan - Sunday in the Meyer House NMB

Listening to a CD that was made at some concert of Matisyahu when he was in Baltimore. One of the kids brought with them from NY "hard to find gems" for me...

Getting to hear him sing a few things, long versions... shema yisroel.. very nice.
She also brought be some silky scarves from Israel that she's trading me like trading baseball cards with kids. Her lavendar one has some beautiful colors in it and is darker than mine which looks better on her...

Today is Yud Aleph Nissan. A rather big day in the world of Chabad-Lubavitch.

I remember when I first came to Chabad, years ago, I would get upset that the men ran off to NY to be by the Rebbe while the women were home cleaning for Pesach. Seemed... not right. They would come back, erev Pesach with Koshel Brocha.. matza.. wine from farhrbregen. Now... 30 years later I wonder why the women didn't take the day off from cleaning and go too! Where was JetBlue when you needed it? Also, remember a year someone's husband couldn't go.. she had just had a baby and his brother special delivered mail to him with pieces of matza from NY... from something, maybe just after? A long time ago.. Memories.

Now I wish the Rebbe were here and could go stand for hours in 770... watching, moving to the niggunim and feeling so high and close to beauty and perfection... standing there with all my friends, piled high on benches, in strange positions holding on for dear life to eachother hoping not to fall down through the heavy plastic window (what was that made of?) and... time had no meaning for us then on days like that. Or nights in December when we would stand by the steps of 770 waiting for the Rebbe to leave after a fahrbregent at 3am.. or closer to 4 debating whether we were or weren't going to show up for class the next morning... we did, we did.

So...fast forward to 2006... Rebbe isn't fahrbregening tonight but last night I went over to Bais Menechem and helped set up for a program which was nice. I didn't stay for the fahrbregen after because ... I had to go home, check on kids and get up early to do things.

Watched a very good video ..."clear a path so you can find your way back, said chop em down, chop em down"...video of the Rebbe when he was young. Beautiful interviews with people who remember when he was a child, in cheder, in Berlin and Paris.

From Sea to shingin sea... searching for me... wow... but you wont find me... all across the land, digging through the sand, said digging through the sand...
Warrior...

Such a good video ...

"clear a path so you can find your way back, said chop em down, chop em down"...

Great video of the Rebbe when he was young. Beautiful interviews with people who remember when he was a child, in cheder, in Berlin and Paris. Interspersed with footage of places in Russia that figured important in those days.. town of Lubavitch, Sputzik? something I need to find my notes...

The video shows a world that few of us can relate to or even imagine. Three little boys in a cheder in Russia, learning Torah, children of great souls... on their way to destiny down the road... with great souls of their own.

A beautiful copy of the letter from his parents to him on the occaision of his Chasena that the Russian officials would not let his parents travel to so he got married without his parents there... his father in law ..who was Rebbe. Made me feel it was meant to be in ways because it was like they passed him on to his wife's father and from that point on ..they were one unit. The Rebbe and his Father-In-Law ..."The Rebbe"... a unit, a pair. I suppose there was a purpose in his own parents not being able to be at the Chasena that so many people traveled to attend, but they could not.

Images of Levi Yitchok's eyes and Rebbetzen Chana's eyes stare back at me in my head...

Anyway... beautiful letter where they wished him good things from the "depths of my heart and my soul" So beautiful, such a mental image of the love that poured fourth wished upon the Rebbe and his wife on that day...

"close your eyes and breathe in ..freedom from across the sea... milk and honey... then we will see clearly... I'm a warrior fighting for your soul, taken from the heavens above... come down... "

So... stayed for the video and went home and checked on the kids... suddenly there are a lot of kids, grown ones and a few young ones. 8 here for Pesach and one son-in-law too.

Kids coming and going, all the kids friends hanging in one big pile like they are in camp on the lawn, in the back room... coming and going.

I went to bed.

Woke up at 5:30 am to the noise of about 6 of the kids sitting outside my bedroom window on the front lawn in a circle laughing telling stories, secrets and having fun. I went out, told them to be quiet and... I think they went inside when the newspaper came and was thrown at them by the wild driver bearing news that the Redsox won yesterday... 2 to one... they won...

Woke up to a house which was quiet except for the sounds of Zalmy sitting by the computer listening to Dina's Matisyahu CDs. Everyone else is asleep.

Not waking anyone.. can get more done with them asleep and when I am done doing what I am doing.. going to leave notes for them what I want them to do.. specifics and going to go out with my brother later to a program... if all goes well.. and watch the rain fall down.

I can't tell you ...
how wonderful this CD is..
you have to believe me.

Lifts your soul like Zalmy went over to my mothers house a little while ago and lifted her milk upstairs into her apartment. Long story.. she needed help bring groceries upstairs... all 80 pounds...

So... the phone rang and we had to find the phone, Zalmy and me... The real phone, you know not the cellphones that are scattered all over the house. The real phone that Sruly bought me for a birthday present. I could hear it ringing. Ring, ring...ring.. it was UNDER the SOMBRERO one of the kids brought down from South of the Border... there it sat, ringing hidden under the sombrero..

Sara Grosz calling to check on me and telling me to go Yitzie's and buy some stuff if I need more than what I have and to give her my son's bank account number so the Rabbi can send him money in Israel.. if I manage to get all the numbers right back and forth... He'll be happy, Pesach present. Sara always worrying if the kids have clothes and things for Pesach. Yes..Shuky has a new suit in Jerusalem... Note: write Shuky an email get number to his account at Bank of America...

"fire burns continously, wondering where you've been..."

So...that's life in Miami on Yud Aleph Nissan and did I mention..
Sharon...Sharie... "Beth" is coming in today :)
My best friend (besides Malka) and... going to see her today :)

Smiling... so cool.

Shayna and Uri come in from Philly on Tuesday...

A front is coming down today and should stall in the straits... friends online are excited at the prospect of any rain down here as it has been very dry but suddenly I am worrying more on the roof than if the house will be ready for Passover by tonight as I have food coming in tomorrow morning...

A front... expected to stall out and possibly a surface low, weak but a low will form to the East of Florida...
http://www.intellicast.com/IcastPage/LoadPage.aspx?loc=kmia&seg=LocalWeather&prodgrp=RadarImagery&product=RadarLoop&prodnav=none


The Red Sox may have beat Baltimore but I am eternally grateful for this CD of Matisyahu singing at a concert so I can get my cleaning done before the kids wake up and the front moves in and I go out later to where I want to go...

Oh...and there was a funky looking camper parked outside Bais Menechem yesterday, for bochurim to go out before Pesach.. funny because I thought of Mel and giggled and it made me think of something I want to write but I can't write today, not much because I have to clean..

pics of mitzvah tanks... somewhere on this page.. keep scrolling..
http://www.crownheights.info/?blogid=1&archive=2005-04

So...gonna go daven ...keep

Listening now to my Zalmy's favorite song... "Jerusalem IF I forget you..."

Also... a request came in my email from Chaya Mink for people to pray and say tehillim for Shifra bas Batya in Montreal who was pregnant 9 months, collapsed and had the baby was delivered by caesarian, she's okay, the mother's not... so going to daven. Will hear more details later, or not... either way will talk to Chaya later, will talk to my kids later... passing it along in email...

emails and phone calls
songs of inspiration
linking around the world
song by song
call by call

Going off.. have to go do things today, so many things.
Only so much a writer can write when Pesach is a few days away...

Have to go daven... have to say tehillim, have to get more coffee..
Have to clean and Pesachize the area by the computer..the last area before the kitchen to be changed over.. I want everything put away before the older kids wake up and get a vote..

And..no it won't shine in silver tin foil like my mother's house... Zalmy came back and said "do you know what Bubby's house looks like??"

I said, "there's a lot of tin foil right?"

lol... I don't do that.. I do my stuff...

"we need a sneak attack to get the demons off my back"

I have to go.. time is moving fast along...

Yud Aleph Nisan in Miami...
waiting for rain,
waiting for Pesach..
waiting for Moshiach...

"in a tornado twist"

Oh..and incredible footage out of Tennessee... shame.. a lot of destruction.


Live in today.. live gloriously in today and Serve Hashem with Joy..
Shalom Bobbi.. in North Miami Beach... on the Rebbe's Birthday..

"I paint the scene so you can see, the city is picking up speed, I'm on a taxi.."

"lord raise me up... been here too long... i said lord raise me up.. i said.... lord raise me up... from the ground....ive been here too long i said lord wont you raise me up.. from the ground... uh huh uh oohhhh yeah... ohhhh ... ... wont you please wake me up, bring me back... ..... .... wake me up and shake me up and ...shock waves... rapture coming like a runaway truck, you make my heart want to serve you and Im bound to erupt... I love this song.........

make a list of groceries to buy.. paper, aluminum and fruits and vegetables


"no you didn't forget, no you didn't forget... put your faith in the mirage and its just a smoke screen..."

Make a list of what I will cook for the first 3 days... menus, find old lists..

From Sea to shingin sea... searching for me... wow... but you wont find me... all across the land, digging through the sand, said digging through the sand...
Warrior...

One last thought, one last prayer that one day soon I'll have a husband in my life who sings or thinks to himself..

"i dont care where we're going I just want to be with you..." "one woman for me, the other half of my soul, you're my queen" "we could forget about Golus for awhile" "one woman for me..." Unique is My Dove...

Gonna go daven.. Bobbi
not gonna spell check..

"chassidus explains everything on this world has a sould... an inner essence..." even this blog.............. bracha bas chana...

Freaky Friday :) Hurricane Thoughts, Sports Talk and Shabbos Menus

First off...

Working with a colleaque on clothes that are important to wear in a hurricane event.
Platform shoes. Good Vinyl Raincoat. Nothing too complicated that the wind can catch onto...

Seriously...the season getting closer.. people getting wierder

Speaking of wierd..
sort of wierd list this year

whats going on with the Hebrew sounding names and the Brooklyn sounding names.. sounds like a few waiters from the Poconos there..

This year's 2006 hurricane names will be: Alberto, Beryl, Chris, Debby (deborah), Ernesto, Florence, Gordon, Helene, Isaac, Joyce, Kirk, Leslie, Michael, Nadine, Oscar, Patty, Rafael, Sandy, Tony, Valerie, William. '

Well technically Oscar and Leslie can go that way too...

Ziegfield would be so proud..

Personally, I'd like to see Matisyahu added in... he mentions weather a lot...

So....
as for Sports.. still in the glow here of the opening with Josh Beckett for the Sox.
As upset as I was about the trades..this one glows.. maybe makes them all worth it.

Dolphin Schedule came out.. lots of good games.. need to get one though I have a friend who is supposed to be sending me some stuff from her trip to Boston last week.

As for Shabbos.. if all goes well... and timely..

My son Levi and daughter Dina will be here..

Serving Chicken... maybe Yellow Rice.. mexican style :)
Fish..all the usual suspects included

Keeping it easy..
eating up the chometz, crackers and cookies

Have a wonderful Shabbos... a wonderful day and pray I can keep writing on something I haven't in a while.. feels good to be inspired :)

Batter UP.. over and out
Bobbi

Beckett Shines in his Opener...

Great article from Boston Globe.. beautiful.

Gonna be a great year for the Red Sox.. I can feel it.. somehow in spite of everything.

So...how does it feel to know I can do this without you big boy... ya created a monster :)

Beckett and Papelbon fire up Sox
Flamethrowers snuff out Texas
By Chris Snow, Globe Staff | April 6, 2006

ARLINGTON, Texas -- Slender Michael Young, the 2005 American League batting champion, hoped he'd checked his swing on one of those devastating 95-mile-per-hour Josh Beckett fastballs.

The Rangers' shortstop, with two outs in the Texas seventh, did his best sell, holding his bat where he'd like to think he'd finished his swing. But Beckett, who had told pitching coach Al Nipper earlier in the night that he was good for 110 pitches, wasn't buying it. So he appealed to the masked man behind the plate, Bruce Dreckman, who obliged, checking with first base umpire Ed Hickox. And Beckett got what he wanted. The punchout signal, on his 109th pitch.

''That was about all I had," Beckett said after last night's 2-1 win, ''that last pitch."

Beckett, all arm and energy last night, responded with a motion similar to Hickox's, though significantly far more vociferous. He took a step, stopped, and pumped his fist hard, yelling, like it was October in New York, rather than April 5 in Texas.

Nearing the dugout steps, where Curt Schilling had the excitement of an 11-year-old boy who'd found a playmate exactly like himself, Beckett paused and did something rather Schilling-like. He turned, cupped his glove next to his mouth to help the sound travel, and yelled to Hickox. It took a couple attempts, before Hickox, cracking a smile, turned to Beckett. Thanks, he said. Or something like that.

''I love that [stuff]," David Ortiz said of Beckett's raw emotion. ''People in Boston are going to have fun with this guy. I think we've got two Curt Schillings."

Beckett, in his American Legue debut, in his home state (he's a native of Spring, Texas, four hours south of here), had reason to be jacked up. After a shaky 23-pitch, three-hit, one-run, one-wild-pitch first inning, Beckett looked likely to be on the hook for an ''L," despite hanging zeros the rest of the way. Through six innings, the scoreboard high above the second porch in right at Ameriquest Field read:

BOSTON 000 000

TEXAS 100 000

Real Weather Post..

Okay so it's hot beyond words here in Miami tonight. No air. I mean I know there IS air but you can't see it moving. And, humid... very humid. Last night it was cool and woke up this morning to almost cold.

My ex-husband in NY emailed me some pics from his cellphone of the snow falling in Crown Heights. Called me to tell me. Said it was hard, big flakes.. for about an hour Brooklyn was covered in layer of snow and then almost just as fast it melted.

My best friend "Beth" who lives in Maine.. she says it the whole ground was covered.. melted fast.

Meanwhile.. in Miami.. its hot hot hot

Spent some time at www.hurricanecity.com looking through posts, patterns.. thoughts on this upcoming season. Heard the dust will still be interfering with the Cape Verde Storms though its too soon to tell for sure.

Still...been a flip flop sort of winter and the spring is just as floppy if you ask me.

No Joe.. I do NOT think NE will get hit this year with a big hurricane but well.. you never know cause if I could find Lex Luthor..well .. um.... Rhode Island could get hit.

Israel had wicked weather..the whole region. Saw on shmais that the Chitrick family there witnessed the "mini tornado" first hand. I email my son Shuky who is real into weather and hear what he has to say.

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?apage=1&cid=1143498802864&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

And...in the world of Bobbi...
Red Sox Won... Josh Beckett started.. wild to see him in the line up.

And... waiting to see who roles in this weekend so I can do a massive, get down and dirty cleaning of the house for Passover.

As Scarlett said a long time ago.. Fiddle Dee Dee.. I'll worry on hurricanes after Passover :)

The song "You Must Remember This.." is stuck in my head, all day.. a kiss is just a kiss .. a sigh...........is just a sigh..the fundamental things apply.. As Time Goes By........" sigh ..

smile
Bobbi

Thoughts: Matisyahu and Tzvivos Hashem and Time's Dance

Quick random thoughts that I shared earlier with my best friend who wants to be known now as Sharie... anyways.. right.. life imitating art here.. so...

The concept of Time amazes me and how long it takes for something to grow and bear fruit.

We compare small boys to a tree and we don't cut their hair until they are 3 years old.. based upon not taking the fruit from a tree for its first 3 years.

We often say about children "that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" though often the fruit is much better than the tree itself.

Trees are compared to Tzaddikim.. holy people which I mentioned a while back when I felt bad for a beautiful, massive 100 year old tree that fell down in Hurricane Wilma in Miami.

So, today while taking a brief rest from cleaning (which I finally got around to) and listening to Matisyahu and the Youth CD I googled the dates that I had been wondering on for a while that would prove my point...

Matisyahu's birthday according to online sources:

Matisyahu was born Matthew Miller on June 30, 1979, in West Chester, PA, although his family moved to Berkeley, CA, when he was a child before settling in White Plains, NY.

That makes Matisyahu a small boy.. baby.. child when the Rebbe gave the famous sicha and started the campaign of Tzivos Hashem and even though I am sure he was nowhere near 770 that day... the seeds were planted for the future of a magnificent generation that would far surpass their parents..

from tzvios hashem's website..

FALL 1980 - 5741
• Establishment of Tzivos Hashem Activities Fall 1980 - 5741
The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson encourages Jewish children to enlist in Tzivos Hashem. Enrollment pours in from many countries. Registration is recorded in pencil on cards


and.... it took how long for it to realize the fruits from that labor...
from that spark, that thought, that sicho..

From Tzivos Hashem online:

1981 - 5741
• Youth Groups
• Tzivos Hashem Choir
Adopted the theme song ‘We Want Moshiach Now’

That brings us to 2006............
Matisyahu's CD goes GOLD... with the words of him singing "I want moshiach now" and speaking words of Torah spreading out the wellsprings of Chassidus further and further in ways that we couldn't even conceive of back in 1980.

from lyrics...
"we want moshiach now
i say we want moshiach now"

unreal to look at the links of time...and watch how it unfolds, slowly like a rose bud, each petal opening slowly until one day you have this beautiful rose.

My son Sruly is among other things.. a Podcast Producer?? Music Producer who put together Sameach Music Podcasts that are very popular in frum/jewish circles where people can listen to Sruly and his friend Dov Katz joke, talk and discuss new Jewish Music while sampling songs from newly released CDs on their computers or on their IPODS.

My daughter Shayna mentioned to me that she is so happy Sruly is doing something he always wanted to do.

I pointed out to her that producing a podcast isn't what Sruly really ALWAYS wanted to do. He loved to draw and he wanted to write..both of which he does but back when he was playing with crayons in his Grandma's house there wasn't a podcast in site... it wasn't even created so how could he have always wanted to produce a podcast? He had to grow up a while and wait for IPod to be developed, manufactured and marketed... and voila...

The Sameach Music Podcast :)

Makes you wonder how many more things will be invented that can be used for the good and what else this generation of Youth will do to help bring Moshiach... they will change the world in ways we couldn't even dream even if they are indeed the fruits of our trees... from the Baalatchuvahs of 1973.

What a world... read the lyrics below and you tell me if Matisyahu shouldn't be a 4 Star General of The Army of Hashem ...even if it took him a while to get there down a long and winding road to his destiny.

.... amazing when you think upon it...
lyrics below:

The Flame of Youth..you've got the freedom to choose, you better make the right move... drums... you've got the freedom to choose, you better make the right move... you've got the freedom to choose... more drums...
young man the powers in your hand, slam your fist on the table and make your demand take a stand...you got to make the right move... more drums....

Youth is the engine of the world...

Engines.. how karmic but that's another post for another day.. maybe.

On The Road... to Yud Aleph Nissan.. to Pesach and the Hurricane Season of 2006

Great Article I found online. I knew if I kept looking I'd find one that best demonstrated our lives down South in Hurricane Country as Purim fades away and Pesach cleaning discovers those hidden lost candy wrappers from Shalachmonis... Chabad of NOLA... and their Purim Celebration in New Orleans.

Purim on the Blue Roof - 2006 (great pics of Purim in New Orleans)

http://www.chabadneworleans.com/templates/photogallery/photogallery.asp?AID=374048

Otherwise known as... Life Goes On... Hurricanes or not...


How do I explain to people up north and over seas that in Florida, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisianna..nothing is normal yet.

Passover is around the corner... can the Hurricane Season be far away?

Down south we don't have real seasons of the climatological kind.. and if we are Jewish our Spring is defined by different time definitions..

Yud Shvat.. Tu B'Shvat..
New year for Lubavitchers
New year for Trees..

Purim... Make Believe and party... before the cleaning starts
Passover begins in the stores with shelves filled with macaroons begging the dieter to eat just one (of every flavor) for traditions sake..
Right.. for traditions sake......

Funny what traditions us Jews keep..
I know Jews who won't keep kosher, laugh at anything connected to the "Old Ways", pick baseball teams based on if they have a Jewish player, eat bagels and biallys and would never think of eating Cuban Bread for breakfast... and though they insist on eating bread on Pesach they also insist on eating every flavor macaroon in the market. At work a lady came to me to show me she had bought a box of Matzo Sticks. Even when they try so hard to disconnect they keep reconnecting.

Matzo Sticks. This has to be the biggest coup in advertising ever... someone took Matzah.. got them into small slivers of sticks and is selling them like breadsticks... little cardboard tasting breadsticks for about $5.99 a box. The box was about twice the size of a box of toothpicks and probably not as tasty. If frum people think Shmura Matzah is expensive this year by pound.. trust me its a cheap deal compared to those "Matza Sticks"

Anyway.. back to hurricanes...

I was walking down the street the other day coming home from a Sunday Morning Bris for a neighbor's baby and there in front of me on the ground is this beautiful piece of black, shiny, glittery paper that caught my eyes.. Looking as new and fresh as if it just flew off the roof yesterday with Katrina or Rita or Wilma. Except that.. it had flown off the roof months ago or maybe.. possibly some roofer had thrown it off when he was finally replacing a new roof nearby. Either way, there is sat, shiny and glittery in the sunday morning, sunlight.

Since August of last year .. Miami is littered with these glittery, coal like hard paper substances that shine when the sun hits them just right making them look like something that should be cut up and made into jewelry. A Science Project.. Art Project.. something.

Years from now people will do an archaelogical dig and find out that in the days before that big Cumbre Viegja volcano finally blew and Florida was above sea level that the people of Florida collected little pieces of black shiny jewels and littered them in their front yards for good luck.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5652141/

I bent down, picked one large piece of roofing paper up and twisted it back and forth in the morning sunshine watching it catch the sun and glitter like Obsidian Paper or something or other. I thought to myself.. shouldn't someone be doing SOMETHING with these things. A missed opportunity perhaps.. Purim Platters on Roofing Tile instead of plastic fish plates from Walgreens..

I don't know.. it's hard to focus on Pesach when the neighborhood is still dressed in blue from last year's hurricanes and knowing the hurricane season is just around the corner.

Since Simchas Torah ..the last big festival... when we danced by candlelight and flashlight and generators and moonlight... when dining outside became a fun way to enjoy the breeze and we gathered around the nightly bonfire to roast chicken and turkey... nothing has been normal, nothing has been as it seems.

And.. yet......life goes on... the pages of the calendar get turned ...

Pesach IS around the corner and we may have Blue Tarps on our Rooftops but we will have clean houses and turned over tin foil kitchens inside.

And.... whether in New Orleans or North Miami Beach we will gather together with our family and a few friends and possibly a few strangers who need a place to have a seder and do what us Jews have been doing since time almost began back in Egypt... when we first went into Exile and wandered through the desert.. Jews who keep the holidays carefully or those who celebrate it and connect to their past by trying Cappuchino Chocolate Chip Macaroons... they will sit down and retell the story of going out of Egypt and how Hashem saved the Jews and set them free.

I mean if you think about it.. the Passover Haggadah is like the worlds longest ongoing Blog.. like one of those old emails that says if you send this to your whole buddy list Bill Gates will donate 54 million dollars to the charity of your choice.

As for me.. I'm going to settle down this morning and clean a bit in the house, make some lists... check a few sites online... write at least 1000 words on the story I am working on that probably will never get finished but is cute... and finally go to work.

Yud Aleph Nissan is around the corner and it begs me to ask myself.. "what am I going to do ..to take on ... to change in my life" and.. at the moment there is no answer welling up from the bottom of my soul. But, that is the beauty of inspiration ... it hits you when you most need it.

Today I need to clean.
Sometime between now and Yud Aleph Nissan I can figure out what to do..

After Passover and the arrival of my kids back home in their tropical nest... after Passover I will worry on the Hurricane Season.

Today.. I will worry on if the Red Sox win.. if I can get to the post office today.. if I can organize my shopping for Passover and figure out a shopping list..call the Gas company and tell them I am out of gas and call Judaica and find out if my Shmura Matza has arrived.

And... I remember that story of chicken fat and diamonds that is retold in every Chabad House across the country...

A man goes on an ocean voyage looking for treasure.. almost drowns, ends up on an island where people think diamonds are worthless and chicken fat is what is valuable. At first he is thrilled.. he runs along the beaches picking up diamonds thinking he is going to be the richest man in the world when he gets off the island and finds a way back home. His pockets full of diamonds.. he comes across the natives who tell him those are worthless. Seems on that island, in that land.. the economy is backed by chicken fat. Chicken Fat is to them what diamonds are to Americans. He can't believe it, he's shocked, hard to believe. Good old, very fattening, very smelly chicken fat. But, as time goes by he stops collecting the diamonds and he starts filling his pockets with other things.. .years go by... he starts to see the value of chicken fat and when he finally builds his boat, a boat much bigger than the original Ark to hold all is new found wealth and sails it home.... he is sure he will be a wealthy man who can retire to a golf community on a lake in Florida somewhere. People spot his ship.. they see him coming, they gather at the dock and are ready to greet him but begin to be overcome by the very strong smell of some very old, now rancid chicken fat...

And, they screen out to him Yossel.. Yossel.. what is that horrible smell? Where are the diamonds and riches you promises to find when you went overseas looking for a fortune..

"Diamonds he says?"

He laughs.. "Diamonds are worthless don't you know that? Chicken Fat is where it's at... I brought you back a ship load of chicken fat!!"

Well..the story is told by others better than me and now it probably is told with space ships or airships and I Pods and laptops but the moral is the same..

In this world our souls come down and we are here for a reason.. along the way we get distracted and we forget what is really valuable.. really important.. where we came from.. we begin to think tar paper glitters, blue plastic is important, having back up power generators and some fancy flashlight that runs on a lot of batteries but will charge our cell phones if we lose power and we pay a fortune for Matza Sticks.. because we forget what is really important.

We forget the purpose, we forget the plan..

Not all of us.. no...not all of us.. many take on and create institutions and programs and projects to help people around us on Planet Earth. Some of us run Chabad Houses or Neshei Chabad.. others start non-profit organizations to teach children and help empower people where ever it is needed the most. A mission calls to them... a mitzvah is done... information is given out to people who need... like packages from the Red Cross or Pesach Packages given to poor people who need help making Pesach..

This is our real reason for being here..
Everything else is so to speak chopped liver. He tastes good on crackers but.. it goes bad fast and isn't that healthy for you.

This Passover.. in places like Miami, Mobile and Mississippi Jews will look around them at a land that is still being rebuilt and they will better be able to connect to those Jews of long ago who were traveling through the desert on their way towards the future.. in limbo waiting for roofers.

We are all still in Golus... with manna falling from the sky and blue roof tops dotting the very tropical landscape. Mango trees are struggling to bear fruit, my bougenvilla is full of flowers again and soon my frangipangi tree will be in bloom... again..

And, after Passover I will deal with the upcoming 2006 Hurricane Season.

Reminder to buy some chicken fat for Pesach, to render down with some onions in a pan frying, to use for oil... to use for flavor... to nibble on in the kitchen Erev Pesach with my daughter Shayna.. a tradition :)

Bobbi in the land of blue rooftops..

Happy Birthday Miriam... Matisyahu European Tour... Happy April 3rd..

My daughter Miriam turns 19 years old today.

Blows me away. Not because she is so old or grown up.. that I am used to but because it means I have been back in Miami, Florida for almost 20 years.

That was my pregnancy teaching Kindergarden at Landow... I remember it so well. A class full of 4 year olds, my daughter, my teacher aid's son in the class, my son sruly upstairs, my daughter shayna up stairs... her son Moshe next door.. How we got anything done is a mystery to me. It seemed like we spent half our day signing notes for things from children sent downstairs or sending a Medrash Says up to Rabbi Raices. A large class of close to 30 kids with two air conditioners taking turns breaking in hot Miami while Malka planned her Shabbos meals all week and I readjusted to life back in Miami..

20 years ago.. twenty.. Seems like just yesterday I was back in Long Beach but it was life times ago..

My Miriam.. who I spoiled as much as possible (or more according to her older syblings) .. she's in College and well...

Here I am... a few weeks before Pesach ... twenty years later looking back and remembering the day she was born..

I bought her Orange Chicken from Wing Wan for dinner (her favorite) and waiting for the ground meat to defrost and her to make an appearance.

Now instead of her being the baby she is the oldest one home...

The kids are playing on some game..
I'm listening to birds sing..
Talking on email to Jim (Hurricane City) on the chances of NE really getting hit this year or any year...

Hurricane Season edges closer..

Boston Red Sox beat Texas... 7 to 3 :) (Zalmy very happy)

So what has changed in the last 20 years..

A man came in the library today and needed help finding some obscure book that was written on Targum a sort of dictionary back in 1975 and published in a Yeshiva in Jerusalem and while searching the data bases for it he told me he liked my screen saver. His daughter from Bais Yaakov was busy looking for books for homework and so we had time to talk. I told him it was from the National Geographic Spread on Crown Heights.

He was amazed... he knew nothing about it.

So.. I clicked a few keys, surfed around and found the article..
http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0602/feature4/ and showed him the pics...

Then I showed him the whole spread on her website..
http://www.poyi.org/62/caa/drake_01.php
(with all the pictures in it that weren't in the magazine)

And.. he is amazed.

He didn't know anything about it.

I smiled.. and told him "yeah, just think... somewhere a man in Kansas or Wyoming knew and you didn't."

He laughed.

I added, "And.. his son is probably listening to Matisyahu"

I told him it's a whole new world...

So the world has changed so much in 19 years...

Listening to Matisyahu singing Jerusalem if I forget you and.. well..nothing really does change because we never forget Jerusalem...

Matisyahu is going to be performing in Finland, Sweden and well.. take a peak, was in my email when I came home..

And, Mel wants to wear tzizis for Pesach lol.. what a world... well springs spreading out real far...

Happy Birthday Miriam...
Happy Monday World..

HEY, bracha --

MATISYAHU TOUR UPDATE 2006
New international dates have just been announced!
Matis' June 15 show in Cleveland is on sale now.
All current dates & pre-sale information follow:
Apr 01 Halifax, NS McInnes Room/Dalhousie Univ
Apr 09 Washington, DC Charles E. Smith Cntr/GeoWash U
Apr 10 Kingston, RI U of RI
Apr 11 Northhampton, MA Calvin Theatre (pre-sale going on now)
Apr 30 Indio, CA COACHELLA Valley Music and Arts Festival
May 06 Dublin, Ireland - Midnight Show at Temple Bar Music Centre (Tickets: www.ticketmaster.ie or 0818719300)
May 08 Helsinki, Finland - Nosturi (Tickets: www.lippupalvelu.fi or www.tiketti.fi)
May 09 Stockholm, Sweden - Kagelbanan
May 10 Oslo, Norway - Garage (Tickets: www.tigernet.no or +47 22 20 73 50)
May 17 Amsterdam, Netherlands - Melkweg Max (Tickets: www.ticketservice.nl)
May 18 Berlin, Germany - Kalkshcheune (Tickets: www.eventim.de or Ticket hotline Eventim: 01805 / 570 000 (0,12 EUR/Min)
May 21 Manchester, UK - Univ (Tickets: Box Office 0161 832 1111)
May 22 London, UK - Hammersmith Palais (Tickets: www.gigsandtours.com or Box Office 0871 2200 260)
May 28 George, WA Sasquatch Festival
Jun 13 Toronto, Canada Molson Amphitheatre (with Dave Mathews Band)
Jun 14 Darien Lakes Darien Lakes PAC (with Dave Mathews Band)
Jun 15 Cleveland, OH Agora Ballroom pre-sale going on now)
Jun 18 Manchester, TN Bonnaroo Music Festival
Aug 06 Chicago, IL Lollapalooza in Grant Park
STAY TUNED FOR MORE:
www.MatisMusic.com

GET YOUTH NOW AT ITUNES!
and get the bonus "Old City Beat Box" video and the special iTunes interactive booklet with your purchase!

YOU CAN ALSO GET THE CD ONLINE HERE
AND IN STORES EVERYWHERE!

GET YOUR RINGTONES
You can now download Matisyahu's "King Without A Crown" & "Youth" as your cell ringtone! Details here.

GET MORE ON MATISYAHU:
www.MatisMusic.com
www.Matisyahu.org
Visit the Matisyahu MySpace page

35 - A Poem, A Rhyme, Sad but true...

People think I don't dream...........

I just don't admit to my dreams.
They are just dreams and dust in the wind has more substance than my dreams.

But I dream...

Such dreams that would bring tears to my eyes if I thought upon them too long.

And sobs of sadness for what can never be.
And tears of joy that I'll never see

Night and day. Night and say you remain... A memory.

Don't ever believe I don't dream....

Order Youth CD From Sameach Music and...

Oh.. order the Youth CD from Sameach Music and ... get a free poster :)
and I think a sampler of other songs...
http://sameachmusicpodcast.libsyn.com/
http://www.jewishjukebox.com/
(sample songs on the jukebox... its free... enjoy)

Keep On Truckin' --- Red Sox Season Startin'

So........... On one of my favorite days in the world... April 3rd the Red Sox start their 2006 Season. To catch the feelin' click here :) http://boston.redsox.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/bos/ballpark/index.jsp In a world gone perfectly crazy at times... and nothing is as it seems... throw the play book out.. throw reality off the train and catch the fever of make believe and fantasy and life imitating art imiitating life...

Throw the play book off the train, dance to the music, color outside the lines or make new lines...

BE YOURSELF.. only originality and authenticity really cut it in todays Seen All, Been There, Done That world... the uniqueness of people being their own crazy selves... furfilling their imagination and taking inspiration out for a ride around the block makes the grade.

Mind you I have NO idea what I just wrote. I didn't really think it.. I wrote it. I began typing, tapping away on the keys and words flowed forth faster than I could catch up with them. Which is pretty darn fast if I may so...

Let the feelings inside be your guide and take control of your destiny.

Be yourself. Knowing that deep inside we all have many people warring within us to take control and to choose the direction of the next move.

We have the freedom to choose, you got to make the right move...

What now?
What next?

Well, for me... going to deal with the Opening of the Red Sox Season without my favorite Red Sox friend chirping along, chirp, chirp like some soundtrack to my life and hearing my son talk non stop about who did what and bug me about when are we going to get the cable back. Wouldn't it be easier to move up north I wonder.. Even if I moved to NY he could watch all the Yankee/Red Sox games and that alone feels like half the season.

Next.. I am going to HAVE to make a list of things I need and for once I am going to take out the Passover stuff early and make a list of what I need. Possibly a crock pot. Probably a crock pot. Come on Bobbi...has their EVER been a Pesach you did not need a new crock pot? This year I need a coffee grinder.. waiting til Pesach to purchase that one.

If I was rich and famous I would order in a Sedona Coffee from Starbucks every morning.

Have a book or two to read and need to write... write whats in my head ...

I need a vacation.. always feel this way this time of year and then get stuck with Pesach (which I enjoy) and can't get away til later..
And............kid's friends are coming back from Israel, horns beeping, the party is starting already... the ones from up north have yet to arrive and join the party.

So... while tipping through the tulips of emails tonight the song came to me...and never did I know where the thought came from.. couldn't remember the end of the song ... go figure, was Wild Thing.. cute song.. Did you know that the man who wrote it... was Angelonia Jolie's uncle? Really go figure... the same man who wrote Angel of the Morning (my mother hated that song.. ) I used to play it over and over.. Guess there is some pre-programmed link to when I was in Jr. High lol... http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=1791

"
Songfacts: You can leave comments about the song at the bottom of the page.
This was written by a songwriter named Chip Taylor, who has made tons of money from it because it has been recorded by many artists and is constantly being used in movies and TV shows. Taylor used a lot of this money to fuel a gambling habit - for years he bet about $10,000 a day and was kicked out of every casino in Las Vegas for card counting. He also wrote "Angel Of The Morning," which was a hit for Merrilee Rush in 1968. Taylor is the brother of actor Jon Voight and the uncle of Angelina Jolie."

Wild Thing by The Troggs Songfacts

Last thing I will say.. the world has changed so much in the last few years.. and it changes fast at a pace faster than it ever has before (even though every generation has said that) as things rush towards the future at a high speed warp drive pace and its so hard to catch up so the best thing to do is............

Throw the Play Book from the train... watch it fly fast, falling page by page down the ravine settling somewhere.. not here... and make up a new play book..

lastly...................I will say one thing.... this all prooves my point that ... someone is a damn good actor even if he chooses not to act that much...

We all make choices... make yours the right one for you because in the end only YOU must live with your choices and you can't make choices for others.. not children, not friends, not parents, not spouses, not co-workers...in the end, you have only yourself and God to answer to.. everyone else is the choir singing... everyone is like one big back up singer...and you are the lead singer...

Sing strong.. sing a song... be yourself.. fly high..

For you I wait silently, it seems that you believe in me (yep.. listening to Youth CD, Matisyahu)...

fear nobody but his majesty
my spirt you retrieved ;)

***** love Bobbi****

Indestructable - Matisyahu"Indestructable"
Fear nobody but His Majesty,
My spirit, you retrieved,
For you I wait silently,
It seems that you believe in me
Fear nobody but His Majesty,
My spirit, you retrieved,
For you I wait silently,
It seems that you believe in me
Indestructable digging through the rubble
Bubblin we don't need no more trouble
That bahella-scope vision, hot hot fiction
Like im running a muck upon a rhythm
Stay on the plan so you don't lose the vision
Stay sizzling
Peter pan
I'm from a land hip like this
From the city feeling it
Ya breathing in, ya put on your glasses and ya see through it

(Chorus)
Fear nobody but His Majesty,
(fear no one)
My spirit, you retrieved,
For you I wait silently, (his majesty)
It seems that you believe in me
Fear nobody but His Majesty, (fear no one)
My spirit, you retrieved,
For you I wait silently, (his majesty)
It seems that you believe in me
Some of them run-run-running like rats on a wheel
Trife will find her new deal
Who is their ticket for a meal?
This world is real on the heels of a final generation
I remember that day in November
Standing on the roof and I'm feeling so tender
All shook up like I've been in the blender
Fend off the demons in the park after dark
Lend me your hand I want to be a member
Spent too much and now im rendered,
Dead mend these wounds we got to find a common thread
Want to fly in the sky but you're heavy like lead

(Chorus)

Just a tool in the hands of the builder
Fill them with the strength to go further
Diggin deep for eternal treasure
Stay away from quicksand and false pleasure
Dare not speak with arrogance
Appearance like a lion lurkin in the mist
They surround and they gaze their fix
Grab the rope of G-d's heritage

(Chorus)

Release me from their schemes
My distress you will relieve
Shield me on the path that's dark and slippery
They seek deception and futility I stand with integrity
Sneak to the roof of that building
Don't want nobody here to see me
To say that I'm living in a fantasy
But I believe in find and keep
And I plead in sincerity
Wont you utterly remove the cloud hangin over me
Wont cha wave that decree in the shade of your wings
Shelter me from the wicked who have plundered me
From my mortal enemies wont cha shield me

Ohhhhhhhh ma maaa yoyooyooo yoooo