More on War of the Worlds and Life...

French Toast was Kick Ass.. Great. Not my word mind you but one I picked up round here online and an old favorite of my daughter Shayna.

French Toast
Old leftover challah
eggs
non-dairy creamer
cinnamon and sugar
lots of vanilla


Eggs
fried onions (yaffah eat your heart out)
bacos (for zalmy)

Breakfast Blend Coffee in Green Mountain Mug (caleb eat your heart out)

Holiday morning in the burbs.

So still amazed at that movie. And..more amazed looking back at how much I learned from Leah (Steven's mother) talking about what it was to be a divorced, single mother with children.. an angry, sad, hurt, complicated child. Ways to think out of the box... she bought Steven a camera.. what a muse of a mom. She remarried .. found herself one of the greatest guys I ever met. Bernie.. loved Bernie. What a guy. That woman was and is a perfectionist in everything she does.. like her son Steven who will get a scene just right the way Leah would..if she was filming. Those early lost days of my young life, a young mother with a little baby boy and a husband. A husband with the best ties in the world. Bernie's hand me downs. Leah would give them to him at Chabad House in Westward before we got married. Telling this story backwards. But, it's my story to tell.

So... there we were .. just married. 1977. Going through clothes and unpacking and my ex's things. He had the best ties in the world wierd because he never wore ties. A few really cute ones with gum ball machines and flags and okay not very normal ties but neither was he. He was and still is an artist.. an actor. An outside of the box person who tried too long to live in the box. We both did. Didn't work. But, that is far down the road.

So, asked him where he got these ties he liked so much. Good ties, color and creativity not just a wierd tie. He told me about Leah and Bernie. For him it was always Leah and Bernie. For me it became Bernie and Leah. He admired the ties at lunch at Chabad House sitting with them when way back and Leah being Leah went out and got my ex husband ties. Sometimes she gave him Berne's own ties when she bought him new ones. He wasn't much of a tie wearer but they meant something to him. You see Leah was a lot like his mother, my ex-mother-in-law. A high maintenace, smart, creative, woman who knew what she wanted down to the very last detail. Luckily for Bernie and Leah she obviously at one time wanted Bernie.

After we were married, we went to LA for Sheva Brochos and Eliezer took me to see Leah at the Milky Way. First week I am sure. Watching my mother in law go eye to eye with Leah was fun. Both had short, short hair and knew what they wanted and liked in life. My mother in law wanted the music turned down. Leah came over, smiled down and said with a quiet, strong smile, "I like the music the way it is." It was like showdown at the OK Corral and she made it clear that the good part of owning a restaurant was that you could run it how you wanted. Leah, smaller than my mother-in-law in size but the victor smiled and walked away. Was a vintage moment. I think .. am sure, Bernie winked at me and smiled. We were like bonded.

Over the years.. we went there to eat milchigs (dairy) or mexican on Monday (what chile rellenos and cream of corn soup) and in my maternity moods which often rose up to the surface after a long day in L.A. (up from Long Beach) I would disapeer from the table while Leah and Eliezer sat talking and my son sitting in the only highchair that Leah rarely brought out for her special babies who behaved properly who she liked. Remember it well, people would ask upset with 3 screaming babies... "you don't have highchairs? what are we supposed to do with our little kids?" Leah would look them in the eye, tough and gracefuly smile and say "You could get a babysitter and leave them at home." But my son got the highchair because he would sit there with little crayons in his hand and color quietly on napkins making masterpieces (like he still does on the computer nowdays) and I would go "off to the bathroom." That was my excuse to move, get up, walk around and being pregnant..go to the bathroom. And, talk to Bernie.

Somehow Bernie always knew I needed the time and the space and he'd make me laugh. He'd tell me to come around the back of the counter, his counter, like some conspiratorial game and he'd make me drinks from his fountain bar that he loved. We'd sit there... spraying drinks into glasses and he would make me laugh. Making little masterpieces of mixed soda drinks hiding behind the counter from life and life seemed no longer heavy or difficult but like soda bubbles.. we were like kids blowing bubbles.

He was such a good guy. Such a good, good man. One of my all time favorite men I have met in my life. A smile that would light up the world and aware to see through bullshit and find the important things in life. Well, that was how I saw him and smart enough to know I wasn't a happy camper but instead of making me open up or talk he knew, he winked, he smiled and knew how to put it aside and find fun. Bernie, in his hat, great guy. God should grant all women the chance at love a second time and to know yourself as well as Leah knew herself.

She knew how to think outside the box. Knew to nurture that spirit in a child whether it was my son quietly drawing masterpieces or buying Steven a camera. No one I have ever met has had that lioness love for their young as Leah whether talking about her son, her daughter or her grandchildren.

That strength of passion for a child comes out in the way the Tom Cruise character does whatever he has to do... to protect and save his children, his small daughter. The movie and many of his movies show what I learned early on in my marriage listening to Leah tell me what it was like alone with small children after a divorce. Things I would need to know later when my marriage was over.

My divorce was different. They all are. And, I have been alone raising small children. Anger, sadness, the sense of what is lost between ex-husband and wife. My need to make sure my ex got to see his children always even though others might not have done so. Not good for children not to see their father. Older kids still have anger ... younger kids have very little anger. And, now me and my ex are friends in our way. We talk. He sends me pictures of my best friend's house in Maine when he stopped in to surprise her yesterday.

Complicated people living outside the box.

I learned much about life from Leah. How to stand strong with a smile and stick to your guns, hold tight and be yourself. Learned that old men are wonderful and something to look foward to in life. Bernie like my children's great grandfather Opa. Loved both of them from my days in L.A.

I learned people do get divorced and they do go on.

Learned if you want a good dairy restaurant sometimes you just have to make it yourself.

I'm sorry. To me... one of the greatest filmakers of all time will forever be Leah's little boy Steven playing with his camera. And, now he has come full circle and he is all grown up, still making masterpieces and somewhere Leah is as proud of him today as she was when he was making that movie about some big fish.

This is my blog. My life. I made it so I can be me.. here in my own hurricane harbor, putting anchor a bit in protected waters and being myself. The storm can rage and does often but it is my harbor, tucked away, protected. My blog and if you don't like the music.. go somewhere else.

If you do... sit a spell, enjoy... let the storm rage beyond the protection of the harbor.

And, to you know who... and only you... my own wonderful artist. I said Steven is ONE of the greatest film makers... one... just one. Not my favorite. Nah.. but do admire this movie on many levels. Like I admire you on all levels.

Now let's track storms :)

Bobbi