Santana Evening

Listening to Santana's CD Smooth or whatever its called but you know what I mean.

Weekend was fuzzy...some moments good, some bad, some hectic..some very good.

Went for breakfast twice in last 24 hours.. figure that one but was in the mood you know?

Weather in Miami is awesome... beautiful. Like Santana.

Not much of importance to say.. just marking time in case Jay comes out of his cancerian shell over there in Greece and checks my blog. Yes.. I am here.

Ronnie, our brother stops saying kaddish tomorrow for our father. Jay's in Greece and I'm not saying because I'm a woman and women don't unless they are not orthodox and know what they are. I don't think I can say I am orthodox, no can't say that and I connect to my father in every day ways... and remember him in other ways. He hated to be told what to do and so do I.

Maybe now I watch baseball for him though really am watching for me.. not you know how or Jay knows who. The other person who reads this log/blog besides Jay. Or persons or as some say "THEY, THEM" giggling..is that so paranoid that some people worry on "them" wherease... I don't worry. They are one of the more beautiful things in my life. Like angels watching over me... sending me little bits and pieces of gold dust and crystals to make me smile and sing me songs.

No...the problem is not "them" the problem was "him" because he started this joke that started the whole world laughing... he didn't see ... the joke became me.. Okay that didn't make sense... but I'm laughing at them... the ones "doing it" and I don't consider this harrassment though whoever did the Happy Birthday wake up to my boyfriend's house early this morning can lay off the ballads and and find a better venue for direct communication with me if they feel they need to tell me something.

Sorry sounds more like HIM and not THEM but I could be wrong. I usually am.

And, may I take this venue to say something to "confused in Alaska"

I don't think you were all that confused. I think that something for some reason was missing in your relationship with "VERN" and maybe that was that VERN didn't make you feel loved enough and from what you said in your Dear Abby... "for the most part" you had put your problems behind you. Well no... I don't think so. I think that the biggest problem. I think the big problem was that you were looking for love in all the wrong places. You met Jason at work and sometimes you just meet someone who knocks you off your feet, and you can get lost in that. It's about being human and taking chances and not being able to not take a chance. Jason obviously had a strong feeling for you too. Whether he is or isn't married... he does have children and has chosen to put their needs before his (what a man.. what a father) and probably for your sake felt bad he had interfered in your life an pushed you back to VERN because he wanted you to have someone who loved you. He obviously felt Vern did and either way... the problem was that if something hadn't been missing, you never would have noticed Jason because you would have been sitting at work on the phone or text messaging Vern who made you feel like the love of your life.

I dont think personally dear abby or who writes her column gets it. No, its not about you both getting counseling. It's about you deciding whether you want to keep Vern in your life and as a husband or what and ..........for Vern to figure out if he does love you so much....how did he let you get away, fall for Jason and actually move out of the house. Vern sounds a little passive agressive to me and lets life come and go and hopes you will come back. Sometimes.... people leave and they don't come back.. even if they lose Jason... they want more.

More is the name of the game... Less means you end up falling for some cute Jason at work and More means making sure that whatever her name was (probably Amy) isn't confused in Alaska. Also... if you ask me you should move away from Alaska and go somewhere warm... tropical beach, drinks... music...

You aren't so confused. You know what you want. You just can't always get what you want. And...then what Miss Abby wanna bees who mean well don't get is .. its not about putting Jack and Jill back together again.. its about moving on, the future..the present. Not the past. Not the future. The present.

Our lives are made up by moments that tick away like the minutes on a clock and when you love someone...............really really love someone you never let them walk away from you. And, you don't stand behind palm trees watching or listening with Xray hearing because..........sometimes there is no dorky friend to push you out from behind the palm tree and someone you consider mediocre gets to walk away with the girl.

If you love someone... you don't let them walk away and hope one day they will come back like a lost, broken puppy... you make sure they know.

Jason's kids are lucky. They will feel loved. Obviously something was missing with their mother or he wouldn't have given you a second look.

Stop writing Dear Abby. Start living. Kick up your heels and dance and pray and ask the Lord above to send you a sign... and help you know your heart.

Put on some Santana.. listen to your heart.

Bobbi... aint never ever writing Dear Abby... u can bet the farm on that one.

:)
ps...............yes.... going to stay up, do things.. make notes for my week and listen to Matt on the radio.. nite.